Busting up my money context

Busting up my money context

This afternoon I met with my coach to talk about money and where my relationship with money is holding me back. You see, I have always saved and squirrelled and scrimped. Like there was always a scarcity of money.

This story or belief that I’ve had has built some wealth in my life. I married a Swiss banker and we’ve been living a fairly abundant life with money. We have a lot of the same values around money.

The only problem is that because of this story and belief, I actually can’t live a fulfilling life.

What do I mean? Everything has a value. Is it worth it to me to do something? Is it worth it to buy something? Am I getting the best deal? Where are the sales? It’s like constantly measuring yourself and your life against money (and time but that’s for another post).

This morning, I actually got pissy because Luc had to print 37 pages of a soccer coaching manual on our printer. Do you know the cost of ink? I could let the cost of the paper go but not the ink. I suggested even to have it printed at Staples as that would be $3.70. Surely, the ink in our printer would cost more. I could see that that seemed a bit ridiculous so eventually landed on black and white, two pages to a sheet, economy ink dispersal and I could live with that.

The other day, I decided that having time alone for me was more important than car pooling with Luc. And so we had to have a gas conversation and if I was going to pay for that.

IT’S EXHAUSTING AND I’m declaring I’m busting that up. In order for ME to not have a scarcity belief, my practice is abundance and generosity.

In order for us to shed the beliefs that are holding us back, we must really get what is getting in our way (judgement, money, time, etc…) and then build practices and exercise our choices to rewire our brains and create the lives we want. Outside of our comfort zone where we grow.

What is it we want in our lives? Stop. Ask yourself now. Like for realz here people. No shit no kidding.

What is getting in your way? I hear money a lot. I also hear time (too busy). I hear being scared. Are you willing to make a bold move, even if you are scared, to finally be free of that thing that’s holding you back?

This month for me it’s judgement. And now I’ve distinguished money. And so my practice this week is to share with you and my accountability buddy, Michelle, when I choose YES to money instead of “are you fucking kidding me?” This practice will move me closer to breaking down my fears of money, it will create money to not be something that constantly holds me back, I will have the breakthrough I want in order to be free of this ball and chain.

Today I said yes to my beautiful friend Hilary to buy more of her product with Valentus.

The goal is to have money be abundant, free flowing, generosity, love, freedom, curiosity and beautiful. Not something to stress about. It’s just money in – money out = money left over. That’s it.

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Practicing

What you resist persists

Practicing is something that I’ve been really looking at these days. I’m finding it especially powerful when it’s coupled with choice.

I’m noticing lately when I work with my clients, that we talk a lot about practicing. It’s like flexing a new muscle and building a new way of seeing things, doing things and being things.

Doing things the way I’ve always done them is:

  • easy
  • disempowering
  • comfortable
  • not a stretch
  • usually has a reaction associated with it
  • is robotic

While there’s nothing wrong with doing it this way, there is another way to chose. And the thing about this choice is it could be more POWERFUL than what you’ve been doing.

Things I notice with practicing:

  • there’s a freedom to try something else
  • it’s out of the comfort zone (where we know where growth resides)
  • it’s learning
  • stretching
  • sometimes challenging
  • more authenticity
  • more vulnerability
  • interesting to observe and notice what happens
  • can be playful, fun and enjoyable
  • less longstanding anger/stress
  • did I mention freedom?

I could see that I could be practicing this for the rest of my life. Looking at different ways to be in life, outside of what I’ve chosen for the last 42 years.

Some examples of this:

  1. Homework has always been -> MEH. If I chose something different, like FUN maybe it will be FUN! Or I could chose curiosity for this. And get really curious about homework.
  2. Gardening has been a burden and a chore. No enjoyment. What’s stopping me from choosing and practicing something else more empowering? SFA. Why am I married to something being so challenging or something that I will hate. And maybe fun doesn’t land, but maybe exploring does. Who knows just keep practicing something different.
  3. My business -> hard. Ok, so let’s chose something different and see if there is more freedom in this. Let’s choose excitement. Let’s choose abundance. Let’s choose easy. And then practice that.

We all know the saying “that which you resist, persists.” So what are you resisting in your life, and what you could practice so as to look at doing it from a more powerful way?

What you resist persists

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