Camino: Day 7-9

Cirauqui/Zirauki, Estella, and Los Arcos

Day 7 – Zariquiegui to Cirauqui/Zirauki:

Started our day at 6:15am an took off directly up hill for the sun rise. 2.4km. A beautiful sunrise. And then down down down on a river of balls as my mother describes this part (she’s not wrong). Then a nice easy walk. We stopped in a town for 2 tinto des verano (my new fave drink). And the carried on 2.6 km to this wonderful place. It was flat then up and so steep I wasn’t sure if I would fall backwards. I’m still with the lovely Sherri and Leena for another day. So incredibly grateful for them. I have 6 blisters that I drain at the end of the day with thread. I like this technique. I’m surprised actually how far you can walk with blisters on your feet. The pilgrims dinner was the BEST YET. lentil soup, a big green salad from the hosts garden and the a cod dish (see photo) that is a speciality in the area. I’m feeling good mentally and spiritually. Physically my toes and parts of my feet are hurting but otherwise all is good. The hardest part by far is the uphill in the hot afternoon Spanish sun. Tomorrow Azqueta.

Day 8 – Cirauqui/Zirauki to Estella:

Today was about self love and slowing down. We got up early and started walking. It was clear to me from the get go my feet were not happy. I remember Eric in SJPDP say “listen to your body”, Michael in Puenta De Reina say “take care of your feet” and Iona say “take it easy the first 10 days. After that you’ll be able to walk more”. So I told Sherri and Leena (who clearly could walk faster than I as they would wait for me) to go and I’ll meet up with them later. If I didn’t then Buen Camino. And then I was alone again. And it was ok. I talked with Luc and Violette for about an hour while I walked and listened to an audiobook. Then I decided, it’s day 7, I’m going to practice fierce self love and get my own room in Estella. Which is where I sit now. I’m so grateful to be able to splurge and look after my body and soul.

Day 9 – Estella to Los Arcos:

I chose to leave a bit later today (8am) which had some significant consequences (walking in the heat of the day). I immediately forgot my walking sticks (walk back 200m). My toes are not happy. So it was slow going. I walked alone and up to villa mayor. Not before stoping in at the wine fountain! We Stopped for some breakfast at 10am with some awesome people who I saw in Orisson. Then it was 12.4km until I saw another town. And down. You would think that it would have been easy. But no, it was 12:30 and we walked until 5pm. It was as HOT. My toes were killing. But I had Alan, a 72 year old Brit who told me fascinating stories of his life when he was younger. Very occasionally there was a breeze and I was so grateful for this small mercy on the blazing Spanish sun. Every little piece of shade we saw from the trees we hunkered under until we finally made it to this albergue. I peeled off my socks and bandages, popped my blisters, and the Camino provided to me tape to deal with my blisters. We headed out for dinner to the square. Right now there seems to be a lot of German’s in my company. They are all so happy, pleasant and kind. I love to hear about all the journeys why people are walking the Camino. Tomorrow will be a rest day for me. I need to heal my toes and blisters a bit more. My feet are more important than doing the distance. It pains me to say that but I need to look after my little digits. ♥️

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Loving Myself

Regardless of how anyone else feels about me, I am going to choose to be happy and completely love myself today

Here we go…

I’ve always thought to myself that I wasn’t one of those people who didn’t love herself. I somehow equated not loving myself to low self esteem. Not sure how I got there but that’s where I’ve lived for a long time. And because I made this connection and I know I don’t have low self esteem, I must love myself. I certainly don’t hate myself.

I was on a coaching call the other day with my coach exploring externally-driven love. Essentially, (and this is hard to admit) I need people to show me they love me to feel “enough” and to “matter”. Yikes. And while I’ve been told every way from Sunday that I can’t change people and love has to come from within, I also know I get my cup filled up when other’s show they love me. So that must be the only way…right?

So we explored self love. I was defiant at first given what I wrote in the first paragraph… “who me? no way, I have self love. pppppshhhht…” and then after I stopped disagreeing with her, I took a look. And got honest with myself. Do I even know what that means? Do I honour myself such that I will put myself first? What does it mean to fall in love with yourself? (and not in that egotistical, self centred, narcissistic way.) Am I doing things to show myself that I actually love myself?

Well, you guessed it…. it all came back as a big fat NOPE.

And so I practice. I practiced actually going 1% further in a conversation where I had to stand for myself. I practice buying myself ice cream to give a gift to myself. I practice loving different parts of my body daily. I practice showing myself love and saying affirming things to myself. I practice noticing when people are showing me love (amazingly this didn’t even come through even though that’s what I wanted).

This is a practice. I’m choosing love for myself. I’m choosing trying something different to get a different outcome. Looking to see where I can break the cycle that has held me back all these years of not feeling enough and that I matter.

Regardless of how anyone else feels about me, I am going to choose to be happy and completely love myself today
Regardless of how anyone else feels about me, I am going to choose to be happy and completely love myself today

 

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