The Jura (celebration of St. Martin) and the completion of the kidney stone

The Jura (celebration of St. Martin) and the completion of the kidney stone

November 10-11, 2018

Kidney Stone Watch: 
We got back from Bretaye and ramped up to leave the following weekend for a family gathering in the Jura. I was starting to feel even more nervous about heading somewhere that wasn’t close to a hospital and spending a bunch of time with Luc’s family not feeling great.

On Tuesday, I got some herbal remedies for the stone: olive oil to drink, lemons to help break it apart, there was a spray that I needed to take 6 times a day, some pills to help with my kidney function and apple cider vinegar. I also started doing visualizations of the stone passing.

On Wednesday, my sister-in-law did some massage and reiki on my abdomen to see if that would help move the stone.

On the Thursday night, I woke up at 2am in a lot of pain. I tried breathing through it, but after 2 hours of wriggling and breathing in agony I woke up Luc and said we needed to go to the hospital to get some drugs.

We got to the hospital and pretty quickly they had me in a bed and hooked up to morphine. I felt immediately better. I had hoped that this would be the emergency that would have me have the surgery for the kidney stone blasting. I needed it to be an emergency or they were just going to wait for the surgery date to come up (could be between then (Mid-November) and February. But it wasn’t deemed an emergency.

They gave me many many drugs to help with the pain if it came back. This was incredibly relieving as I had been having daily pain and feeling uncomfortable for two weeks now and it was really making me feel so exhausted with life and where I was. To finally have some good drugs (not morphine but like morphine) was really like I could take on this for a while longer.

We set off on Saturday for the Jura.

We met up with the family at the hotel, dropped the stuff in the rooms, and set off in two different directions. Half the family went to a kids destination with dinosaurs and I took off to a distillery. We had a great time learning about how the Damassine (liquor made with plums) is made in that part of the country. Then we got to sample some delicious liquors!

That night we all had dinner together and celebrated the birthdays that were around those days and ate a lot of cake and drank some wonderful wine. I headed back early to the hotel as I wasn’t feeling well and really tired and took the most wonderful bath.

The next morning we had a delicious breakfast and then walked around town with some of the family.

Then we headed off to the piece de resistance, Le Fete de St. Martin. This is a weekend where they celebrate a saint by eating all different kinds of pig.

We started the feast at 12pm and didn’t leave until 5pm. 15 courses of mostly pig: pig jelly, pig soup, roast pig, pig with carrots… pig pig pig. I’m not a big fan of pork at the best of times so I politely declined a few of the dishes. And yes, I didn’t even try some of the dishes because no, you don’t even need to try. If you sense some bitterness here, you’re not wrong.

Besides the over abundance of pig eating, it was a wonderful time spent reconnecting with Luc’s cousins, aunts and uncles out on a farm in the country. It’s always hard saying goodbye as it’s really not known when you will see some of them again but we were so grateful to be able to spend this time with them and so thankful to those people who organized it all.

That night we drove back to Jouxtens.

Kidney stone completion

The next morning, I woke up and filtered my pee into a pot as I have been for what felt like weeks and when I looked into the bottom I SAW SOMETHING. My eyes literally bugged out of my head. I started to scream “Luc, oh my god, come here right now!” he came down and looked in the pot. Three pieces of stone. One massive and two tiny. I didn’t even feel it come out.

The relief I felt was like nothing I’ve ever felt – maybe having a baby was better but not by much. Elation, joy, relief, peace, happiness, finality, and beginning my life again. It was over. The pain, the suffering, the wondering, the confusion, the anxiety, the depression, the sadness. Over.

I had walked 800Km, been to Germany, Austria, France, Turkey, Bretaye and the Jura with that stone. It’s unbelievable what I did with that stone looking back. That stone taught me a lot about myself. I can keep going. I can feel all the emotions. I have resiliency. I can ask for support when I need it. It’s ok to feel like you can’t do it one more day and then get up again and do it one more day.

I think it was everything that I did the previous week (taking all the herbal remedies, the massage and reiki and eating all that pig) that helped me pass it. I also think that me giving it over to the universe to say, “ok, you’re in the drivers seat here… what’s going to happen? Are we going to pass this on our own, or are we going to wait for surgery?” for the universe to finally deliver the stone.

Now I can continue on my journey.

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Camino: Day 29-31

Camino: Day 29-31

Day 29 – San Martín Del Camino to Astorga

24km by bus. Every day that seems normal I am grateful for these days. Decided to take it easy today and rest the kidney. I hopped on a bus to Astorga after asking in broken Spanish where the bus stop was. Let me tell you: there’s no way you would know it’s a bus stop. Hop skip and a jump to Astorga. What took some people 6 hours, I was there in 20 mins. I visited the tourist info booth and got my bearings of the town. Super cute and not many people around. I headed to the albergue of choice, dropped my bag and set off for the chocolate factory. It was a little anticlimactic. Then to the palace of Gaudi. Gaudi seems to be a pretty regular name around these parts. An architect before his time that was taken out by a street car?! Seems so unfair. Did the slang term “gawdy” come from “Gaudi”? I wonder. Anyway, I took the side road back along the fortress wall. So quiet and peaceful and it ended up in a little park beside my albergue. I sat there for a couple of hours, eating, sorting out the next few days, watching Stephen Colbert (sometimes you just need a good laugh). I went back to the albergue and my kidney started aching again. Then I met up with Monica from Germany for dinner. We drank and ate and had a great conversation. I walked back and saw Pedro from yesterday in the park with Oscar. We had a wonderful conversation about the things we think we’ve learned along the way. I have a feeling I’ll be running into these guys again all the way to the end. Tomorrow I send my pack forward (first time) and I walk 19km. I am making sure I don’t do too much too quickly after passing the stone. Feeling good to be on my way to the finish line. I still amaze myself when I successfully navigate getting from place to place #thatswhatlucisfor Tomorrow Rabanal. #

Day 30 – Astorga to Rabanal

22 km. We packed up and took off around 7:30. Still dark. Guess who tripped and fell over a small raise in the sidewalk? Yep. Me. Landed on knees and hands and mouth. What hurts the most now is my lip. It’s puffy and turning a nice shade of purple. Sigh… I was thinking about SmashMouth earlier and the song “I get knocked down but I get up again, you’re never going to keep me down…” definitely my theme song. just one more thing to add to the book I’m going to write. Luckily I sent my bag forward otherwise I’m sure with that weight I would have broken my nose. It was a nice walk today. Mostly flat. We passed a cowboy bar which was pretty neat. I’m seeing the same people over and over again. Got a new extended Camino family these days. I walked for a lot of the day with Monica and Jörg. We ended up in Rabanal. My kidney is aching still. Double sigh. I will send my pack forward again tomorrow and walk 20km to Riego de Ambros. 3 sleeps until I see Luc. I’m so excited! I’m done doing this alone and ready for some partnership and help. #

Day 31 – Rabal to Riego De Ambros

22km. Wow 30 days I’ve been out here doing this! Seems appropriate to visit the iron cross today. As you can see from the last photo it was an up and then down down down. Probably the worst down I’ve done. I walked with Monica and Jörg for a bit but then I left them at the iron cross and they are one town back. At the iron cross you leave a stone behind-it’s meant to represent whatever burden you want to release from carrying. I think I read somewhere to please only bring one rock. My rock was thrown out with the backpack so I got a new one to leave behind. I thought about if I wanted to share the burdens I released and I think I do. I’m not journaling anywhere else and I’m practicing vulnerability so I will. I sat in the sun and closed my eyes and held the rock. What came up for me was this: “I release the burden of suffering. I release the burden of shame. I release the burden of judgement both being judged and judging others. I release the burden of having to get it right. I release the burden of not being good enough. I release the burden of fear. I release the burden of the kidney stone. I release the burden of losing my backpack. I release the burden of my past.” As I walked down the hill, I felt an incredible peace and freedom come over me. I felt lighter and that I will remember this day as today was a day of peace and love and inner joy. Contentment. Today was a great day.

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Camino: Day 26-28

Camino: Day 26-28

Day 26 – Leon (Day 3)

Omg I’m not sure if I should cry or laugh. Maybe both. Coffee (for someone with a kidney stone???) and 10 cookies with peach jam for breakfast at almost 10am (supposed to be served at 9 and I had to ask at 9:40 if I was going to get something). Also, a few other observations: no toilet roll holder in the bathroom, no soap to wash your hands IN A HOSPITAL??, they were going to give me morphine last night even though I was feeling no pain (thank god I asked).

Very uneventful day. Resting and being with where I am. I’ve been practicing just being in the moment. Knowing that the next information I get I can make choices from there and that place. I was completely at peace going home and ending early or continuing. Even the thought of going back to Canada I was at peace with. At 4pm I was taken to the master blaster (lithotripsy procedure). The urologist could see my kidney but was having a hard time seeing the stone. So 2 more X-rays and he still couldn’t see the stone. He asked if I would like to have a dye procedure where they shoot dye into you and can locate the stone easier with the X-ray. Yes why not! Was my answer. So 2 hours after that I was back on the X-ray table being pumped with iodine. 2 X-rays later and the stone is nowhere to be found. The doc said it’s not unheard of to pass a stone and not feel it but he’s fairly certain I should have felt that pass today. Anyway, I’ve got a clean bill of health and the doc said I can continue my Camino! Hooray! Since I missed the deadline to cancel the hospital bed I’m here again tonight but that’s ok cuz there’s no bed bugs, I’m all alone (no snorers), and I have my own bathroom and pjs! Bonus they’ve given my stuff to stop the itch from the bed bugs too! Tomorrow I’ll be discharged and I’m not sure if I’ll take off late morning or wait to see if some friends make it to Leon. I’d like to see them. I’m absolutely thrilled!! Taking it hour by hour has been a practice and a challenge but I know I’ve grown from this experience in so many ways. Thank you all for supporting me along the way. ♥️

Day 27 – Leon (Day 4)

I can hardly write this update cuz you’re not going to believe what happened today. I was discharges from the hospital around 10am. This first photo is Samantha. The last photo is Juan. I went back to the albergue and started organizing my stuff. I wanted to get my clothes in a washer and dryer to ensure there were no bed bugs in them. I let Juan know so he gave me some bed bug spray and I sprayed my pack and put it in a black garbage bag on my balcony. Then I grabbed my clothes to wash and I took off. 1 hour later and I’m back. But wait: where’s my pack in the bag on the balcony? So I ask Juan and his partner. They haven’t seen it. We look everywhere. I say: “any possible way you threw it out because it was in a black garbage bag?” “No no no.” Ok. So Juan has a camera that we can look back on the footage and see who came into my room. I spend 3.5 hours going through the footage (don’t ask why it took so long). Finally, I find the clip where Juan’s partner walks into my room and takes the bag out and into the hallway. Juan and I go to the dumpsters and the garbage has been hauled away. I had emptied the bag (mostly) as I was spraying it so I lost minimal stuff. And there is an outdoor store only 2 mins walking away that carries the exact same bag that I had. And Juan paid for the bag. His partner has apologized. I believe he just didn’t put two and two together. Practicing forgiveness. If there ever was a day of highs and lows this would be it. I enjoyed a nice dinner with Linda and Otto (so thrilled to see them again). I’m walking again tomorrow – finally back on the road. I can’t even express how I’m feeling about all this stuff happening. I’m trying to rise above, and sometimes it’s all I can do not to cry ?

Day 28 – Leon to San Martín Del Camino

I have left Leon. I repeat: I have left Leon! 6 days (I think) in this town and I’m happy to be heading out. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a beautiful town. But I’ve done my time there and it’s time to move on. Man! Can they party in that town. Doesn’t matter what day it is but people are up to the break of dawn hooting and hollering. I’m not exaggerating. So I headed out at 7:15 to catch a bus to skip the industrial part of Leon. About 6km. I’m pretty sure i was the only pilgrim in a bus full or Spaniards. I got out and looked for the yellow arrow. It wasn’t far thank goodness. Then I started walking. And it felt soooo good to walk. It’s been about 10 days since I walked. I felt strong, alive, well. I was walking away from everything that had happened and taking everything I learned with me forward. I met Pedro walking. That was nice to talk to someone only for about 20 mins. I gave away two oranges ? at a coffee stop. About 13km in I stopped for a bathroom break. I noticed some discoloration. I also started to notice some discomfort in my kidney. I decided to cut my day short and head to this wonderful albergue in San Martin del Camino. I spoke with Samantha who spoke with a doctor and they said it’s normal for some discoloration and discomfort afterwards and to see a doctor in a few days if it persists. Phew! I spent the afternoon in the hammock, resting, talking to friends and family. Around 6:30pm I spoke with Davis who can barely speak English and me Spanish. We had a great time trying both languages, making sound effects and hand gestures. Then dinner. Big table of people who seem to have the same end date as me now which could mean I run into them a lot – bonus!! There was one comedian at the table (Italian) names michael. Him and a French guy picked up two guitars and started hammering out Cat Stephens, led zeplin, etc… it turned into a sing along. Super fun. Too bad I can’t post the video And then the most amazing sunset. All in all it was a wonderful day. Just what I needed to get back on the road again. I will be catching a bus to Astorga tomorrow to rest the kidney some more. Gonna eat chocolate Yo!! 

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Camino: Day 22-25

Camino: Day 22-25

Day 22 –Bercianos del Real Camino to Leon

I’m actually writing this the next day and I’m feeling a bit down. Found 2 bed bugs crawling on the wall beside my bed this morning and I’m feeling pretty lonely right now. I will continue. Yesterday morning I hopped on Angel and rode her for a really long time on the road. The sun was rising and I had so much joy in my heart. The photo with me on the bike was taken right after I had put out both my arms like I was flying and yelled out “woohoooooo!!!” I was feeling so good. The Meseta was a ton of fun, learning about myself, seeing old friends, singing with nuns. I’m so happy I did it that way. Every morning I passed many many people walking and I made it my job to spread the joy I was feeling by greeting them with a loud “Buen Camino” and a big smile. Almost everyone smiled back and it filled my heart and soul. I dropped off Angel after a big uphill and then downhill into Leon. I’m so grateful for the contribution she made to me over the last 4 days. I found my beautiful hostel and then roamed the streets looking for a beer and food. Leon is HUGE. I found out some other friends are staying in the same hostel and we planned to meet for dinner. So thrilled to see them one last time. What I knew would happen taking the bike is that the group of people I’ve been mingling with, I would leave behind and I would have to find some new friends. Even though I knew it, and just to acknowledge where I am right now, I’m feeling lonely. I’m about to explore this big city on my own today. I think I’m also missing my family a lot as well. I’ve been on this particular part of my journey now for 3 weeks. It’s a long time and I have even more than that to go. Jaedyn I won’t see until Christmas. ? so all of that is catching up with me. It is a beautiful day in Leon. I’m going to request to switch rooms (there’s no way I could sleep in that room again) and if I can’t, then I’m off to find a new place to sleep. Don’t worry everyone: not all days are going to be amazing. Some days will be down. I know this. I’m accepting it, giving myself extra care today and I know this is all part of what I’m meant to experience. 

Day 23 –  Leon (Day 1)

This was a day. Let me tell you. As you know, I spent the day feeling lonely but it was ok. I embraced the feeling of lonely as I don’t get to feel that very often. I went to mass in the big cathedral and sat and meditated. Then I walked over to the MUSAC museum (contemporary art). It was provocative. Then I hopped on a petit train that went around Leon. And on the way back had a glass of wine with two fellows I met on the meseta. Everything seems so normal right? Well I had an amazing conversation in there with my coach… I realize how much I’ve learned about myself in this journey and what I’m up to creating in the next three weeks. I spent a lot of time crying today both for sadness and utter joy. Deeply moved. So, fast forward: I go to bed. I’m lying there and my left side starts to hurt. And it gets worse-and worse. I sit up. I need to get out of bed. I call Luc. The thing that was the scare a week ago reminds me… there was blood in my urine. It hurts like when I had a kidney stone when I was 8 months preggo. I start to panick. How do I get to a hospital all alone? Luc looks up the hospital. I call on the two guys I had the wine with, pls call me a taxi. A French woman helps to find the number. Taxi called. I head downstairs and pop an ibuprofen. As I’m getting into the elevator Nadine from Germany is getting out. I ask her if she will wait with me (i met her 2 hours ago). Yes of course she says. We decide to walk to the hospital (3mins away). She speaks fluent Spanish so she helps me to translate everything. When I finally see the doc the pain has subsided and she waits for me in the waiting room. Then we get into a taxi to go to the pharmacy (it’s 11pm when all of this is going down). She translates everything in the taxi and when we get to the pharmacy. And then back in the cab to the hostel. I can’t believe it. This angel landed right in my hands when I needed her. Tears continue to run every time i think of this generous soul. I now have painkillers and need to wait for the kidney stone to pass 1-2 days. So I stay in Leon. As expected, plans change yet again. And that’s ok. I was ready to walk tomorrow but the universe has an other idea 4 me.

UPDATE: in the hospital in Leon. Going to be here over night I think. Going to see the urologist this afternoon. Woke up this morning in pain. It only got worse and worse. X-ray showed the stone high in my right kidney. They hooked me up to drugs and eventually the excruciating pain went away. And i slept a bit. Please send me love and strength. Your messages keep me company and help me to feel a little less alone. I’ve been talking to Luc a lot on WhatsApp. I have had a lot of feelings about wanting to go home and be with him and violette. We’ll see what happens today after the urologist.

Day 24/25: Leon (Day 2 and 3)

Day 24 passed without much incident. No pain. I even got a hair cut! I had to move albergues but I think the new one was meant to happen because the man who runs it was exactly who I needed for today. Another angel sent to me to help me along this journey. He’s done the Camino 17 times. He has so much incredible love in his heart and wants to help everyone. And he speaks great English. Yesterday he checked on me while I was resting, brought me ice cream and was always so caring. So today (Day 24) when I woke up in pain, i knew who to turn to. I was in agony and about to puke and he hugged me and sat with me while I cried and moaned. Eventually I puked (this would not be the only time). When I finally decided to go back to the hospital he wasn’t around so I left my number and walked the 5 mins. When I got there, wow, there’s a story there. Essentially let go of all expectations of how a hospital operates. At my lowest point I was sitting in emergency in a wheel chair with a garbage pail in my lap, sobbing and in agony about to puke. And Australian woman was telling me it would be ok and rubbing my back. I got an X-ray and then a lot of drugs through IV. Here at the hospital is another angel named Samantha. She works here and speaks almost perfect English. She’s helped me understand everything all along the way. She’s so kind and patient and is trying to work with our insurance to pay for tomorrow’s procedure. So what they want to do is blast the stone with sound waves. The procedure is estimated at 10,000 euros. Hence why we need our travel insurance to kick in. They moved me upstairs and now I’m in my own room with my own bathroom!! Woot woot! And no bed bugs I’m sure! I’m overcome with all the beautiful messages of love and strength. It means so much to me. Thank you. The stone is about 7.3mm. I had an ultrasound tonight and my kidney looks good. Juan came and visited 2xs and he even came back and brought me my tooth brush. He said tomorrow night I can stay for free at the albergue. I’m overwhelmed by all the kindness that people are showing me. I even got a chance to talk to my work peeps today. ♥️

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Camino: Day 16-18

Camino: Day 16-18

Atapuerca and Burgos

Day 16 – Villafranca Montes de Oca to Atapuerca:

Coming out of Villafranca in the morning was up up up. And have I mentioned lately how much I love the up? Downs kill my feet/toes. Then there was this downhill like I’ve never seen. I thought I might start to fall to the bottom. I could hear some 20 nothing behind me sliding down the hill. “Buen Camino!” as he rolled past me. Then only to be met with another straight up. Spain loves their hills. It was 12.4 km until the first town. That was a lot. Luckily Feena shared her yogourt with me and I had a granola bar and apple. We stopped at the Oasis. Too bad it was Sunday as the breakfast board looked amazing. The oasis is this weird and delightful place on the side of the trail in the middle of nowhere. I finally got a cafe con lèche at about 10:30-11. I had a bit of a scare which sent me into another spiral wondering what I need to learn from the Camino again. The scare seems to be nothing so I soldiered on. But I definitely shed some tears and Feena helped me to do some self reflection. I adore Feena. Another angel on my journey. I have to say goodbye to her tomorrow. ? we walked together for most of yesterday. Then we got to this wonderful albergue and we got to share a room with Otto and Linda! I spent the afternoon drinking wine with Otto and chin wagging with Linda with my feet up of course. My feet: blisters are healing/no more to report for a while. Unfortunately I have more bed bug bites so I’m treating and drying my stuff in a dryer. Sigh… it’s not as bad as I thought (I HATE bugs) but they got my thighs and butt cheeks (tmi? Fml!). We had a nice pilgrims meal with the four of us and Frances and David. It was so wonderful to have everyone together. I felt so fortunate. I cried again (of course). Tomorrow BURGOS!! This is a big deal!

Day 17 – Atapuerca to Burgos:

Early morning (7am start) in the dark. I walked with Otto and Linda for a good portion of the day. They said I’m walking faster!! Must mean my feet problems are improving in more ways than one. Up up up as we like to do straight out of the gate to the top. There was the cross and a spiral path constructed with rocks at the top. The terrain up seemed like it must have been lava at one point. Very technical to walk. It was cool and windy which was a nice relief. We walked until coffee (about 6km) and had a wonderful breakfast (tortilla de patata). Onward we trudged and met Sylvan along the way: an emphatic biker who wanted us so desperately to make it to the river. He drew a picture in the gravel and when he left us he kissed me on the cheeks and Linda on the mouth! There’s two routes into Burgos: the industrial way when you walk for 6km through industry or the river way which is longer (some people said a half km others said 3km). We chose the river way. Soooo beautiful. Burgos really does feel like the end of an act-a transition so to speak. I understand there are still 2 acts left. It’s like the whole camino shifts now as we prepare for the meseta. The meseta (from what I understand) is 10-12 days of walking on flat, barren, no shade trail. It’s where people can’t be distracted by the beautiful sights and it’s a time to turn inward and where the deep inner learning takes place. I have chosen to bike this section. It will take me 4 days. Then I’ll have more time hopefully in Leon and Astorga to sight see a little and to heal my feet further. It also means that my bubble of friends will shift as I’ll fast forward in front of them. It’s an interesting feeling to be on your own again doing your own thing. I’m staying one more day in Burgos.

Day 18 – Burgos – REST DAY

I still woke up at 5:30am as the pilgrims still get up then to start their day and it’s hard to sleep past 6 when the lights come on in the municipal albergues. For the 17th time I left my walking sticks behind in the albergue and had to go back and get them. I had a breakfast with bacon, eggs and potatoes!!! I haven’t had a breakfast like this since I left Canada ??. Feena and I did a walking tour of the cathedral. This cathedral is immense. And the ceilings are just incredible. The detail each chapel’s relief had is really astounding. You need to see it to appreciate it I think. After that we walked to our next place to sleep. We rented a hotel room for 39€. A pretty good deal. I bought some black garbage bags so I could treat my backpack in case there are any more bed bugs inside. And we sent all the laundry through the washer and dryer (most important part). Then we walked to the bike rental place to secure me a bike for the next 4 days. The bike is 100€ and comes with helmet, paniers, and a lock. Also bungees to secure my backpack to the top of the paniers. Picking it up at 9am today. I’m pretty excited and nervous! Then to have a bite to eat. After that we returned to the hotel… a seista, organized my washing and packed my backpack, chatted with some friends back home and then out for dinner with Otto, Linda and Feena. The food is really starting to be just the same over and over again. My travel bottle I bought from MEC has broken so my shampoo became unusable. So i had to buy travel size shampoo and i couldn’t resist it’s match – travel size conditioner so last night my hair actually felt nourished for the first time in 2.5 weeks. It’s the small things.

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