Practicing

What you resist persists

Practicing is something that I’ve been really looking at these days. I’m finding it especially powerful when it’s coupled with choice.

I’m noticing lately when I work with my clients, that we talk a lot about practicing. It’s like flexing a new muscle and building a new way of seeing things, doing things and being things.

Doing things the way I’ve always done them is:

  • easy
  • disempowering
  • comfortable
  • not a stretch
  • usually has a reaction associated with it
  • is robotic

While there’s nothing wrong with doing it this way, there is another way to chose. And the thing about this choice is it could be more POWERFUL than what you’ve been doing.

Things I notice with practicing:

  • there’s a freedom to try something else
  • it’s out of the comfort zone (where we know where growth resides)
  • it’s learning
  • stretching
  • sometimes challenging
  • more authenticity
  • more vulnerability
  • interesting to observe and notice what happens
  • can be playful, fun and enjoyable
  • less longstanding anger/stress
  • did I mention freedom?

I could see that I could be practicing this for the rest of my life. Looking at different ways to be in life, outside of what I’ve chosen for the last 42 years.

Some examples of this:

  1. Homework has always been -> MEH. If I chose something different, like FUN maybe it will be FUN! Or I could chose curiosity for this. And get really curious about homework.
  2. Gardening has been a burden and a chore. No enjoyment. What’s stopping me from choosing and practicing something else more empowering? SFA. Why am I married to something being so challenging or something that I will hate. And maybe fun doesn’t land, but maybe exploring does. Who knows just keep practicing something different.
  3. My business -> hard. Ok, so let’s chose something different and see if there is more freedom in this. Let’s choose excitement. Let’s choose abundance. Let’s choose easy. And then practice that.

We all know the saying “that which you resist, persists.” So what are you resisting in your life, and what you could practice so as to look at doing it from a more powerful way?

What you resist persists

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Choice

In the end there is always choice

As I travel along this journey through life and the kick ass program that I’m in right now, I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and noticing about how I’m “being” and what’s going on around me.

These past couple of weeks particularly, have been interesting ones.

I have all the tools at my finger tips to move myself down the path to one of freedom, choice, love. I have the support team, my coach, my family and my friends. And interestingly, with the advice and powerful questioning that comes forward, I realize that this journey is my walk to take.

I’ve been a certain way for a long time. Scratch that, I’ve been many ways for a long time. Ways that empower me and ways that dis-empower me.

Ways that empower me: I can get shit done and take action. I’m a leader. I can build relationships. I have compassion. I have strength. I listen. I’m strategic. I am learning constantly. Knowing that when I’m outside of my comfort zone, it’s uncomfortable but it’s also a place of growth.

Ways that don’t empower me: I am afraid of rejection and judgements placed upon me (this blog post is conjuring up those fears of judgement right now). I control. I see things as right and wrong. I have a fear of not being good enough. I worry (about everything). I need safety in all aspects of my life.

Now that I know all of that, what do I do with it? I can practice choosing differently to have a different outcome. I see how the choices I have made for the last 42 years have impacted my life. Would I change any of those choices, I doubt it. Doesn’t matter. What I now see is that by making the choice to get stuck in something (pissed off, sad, angry, “in it”) is a choice I get to make. And that choice is powerful because I can choose to be sad, and really feel sadness. And then I get to make a choice to continue to do that or do something else.

When I found out about my friends daughter, I allowed myself to feel the sadness. Like really feel it. No suppressing. Crying, sobbing, the whole range of emotions. And then I chose to go to her and be there with her. And the emotional release that I had prior to that had me show up as love, strength and compassion for her rather than still trying to suppress myself.

In the end there is always choice

Yesterday, I was in a meeting, the meeting went a bit sideways and I got pissed off. More accurately: I was embarrassed and angry. I wanted to leave the meeting so bad (run away). I closed my computer and backed away from the table. Then I stopped and asked myself “Am I really going to do this?” and this question was enough to catch me and stop me. I then noticed my heart was pounding/racing and there was tension in my face. I was angry, embarrassed. I chose to take a few deep breaths and BE with the feelings and body sensations. I chose to stay. I noticed the embarrassment was only something I was feeling. And I noticed that it was just an interpretation of what someone else had said. It didn’t mean I was wrong or bad or stupid. It was just a difference of opinions.

Now, I didn’t say much for the rest of the meeting because adrenaline was coursing through my body and to be honest, I still had residual anger. And when the meeting was over, I didn’t dilly dally leaving. But I did go for a walk later to check in again: how was I feeling now? No anger. No embarrassment. No energy around it. No needing to be right. Huh. Not my usual M.O. And there was freedom in that, in choosing and noticing what is really going on RIGHT NOW. What do I want to do now? What choice do I want to make.

That to me comes from a place of inner power. I look forward to practicing this new found self awareness over and over again.

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Outside the Comfort Zone Podcast: Interview with Tanner Holtman and Michelle Audrey

Outside the Comfort Zone

An Interview with Tanner Holtman and Michelle Aubrey from Divinus Creatura, a powerhouse duo up to creating massive shifts in the world through their powerful clients and the people they meet.

It was my honor to be able to chat with them and find out what is up for them now and what they see into their future. I also got to learn about who their clientelle is the tremendous stand they are in their clients greatness.

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Leukemia

10 days ago, I got a text from my best friend, “there’s no easy way to say this, my girl has Leukemia”. And in that short text, her world and my world shifted (probably more accurately, her world blew up). It’s so true when they say, “life can change in an instant”. Her daughter is 11.

I couldn’t even imagine what my friend and her husband must have been going through as a parent in that moment and the moments that followed. And even now, 11 days later, where life turns into what’s happening in this instant, and the next instant, and then the next. Where you were planning, and living your life to the beat of your farm, your children, your garden, your community. And now you’re moving in the bubble of a hospital to the beat of the doctors and nurses and how your sick child is.

For me, I first felt incredible sadness and compassion for this beautiful family. This family has been a part of our family since I was 16. I first knew her dad, and then a few year later we were all roommates. Through all my growing years, learning years, influential years, they have been by my side in one way or another. Our babies have grown up together. When I brought my future husband to meet them, there was worry and love for what he stood for in our lives. They were protective of me and my daughter to make sure we wouldn’t get hurt. And then years later, all their beautiful children were flower girls in our wedding and my best friend was my maid of honor.

When I got that text 11 days ago, I was angry for a moment that something so terrible could happen to a family that is so incredible. They have 6 daughters altogether. They are in 4H and are home schooled. They are a very big part of quite a few communities around this island, giving back, loving people, creating abundance in their lives and the lives of many many others. I could list off all the ways they make a difference in other people’s lives but let me just say that their community and our world is better with them in it. Which then had me get angry and wonder: if there was a god, why would he/she let such a horrible thing like childhood cancer impact a family that so clearly doesn’t deserve this.

Directly following that I felt an incredible pull to be of service to them. I’ve never felt such a strong desire/need to be with another human; to be there for them. 1.5 days later, I hopped on a ferry to the mainland to see where I could help these beautiful humans. I got to listen, support, warm up burritos, deliver groceries, give hugs, laugh, untangle tubes, and most importantly I got to BE with them. Like really be with them. Be with them in silence. Be with them while they were reading their family handbook on cancer, be with them when the doctor was explaining. Be with them when she was going into surgery and then waking up from surgery, Be with them when we just wanted to watch a movie. Connection in a time of compassion, grief, distress, confusion, love, sadness. What a gift this was for me.

And then I went home a different person.

We’re all on our own journeys in life. Processing what happens in our lives, as we need to. We put up guards to protect us and keep us safe. In an incredibly stressful time, that’s when our survival mechanism kicks in and says, “Ok, I’m running the show now, this is exactly what I’ve been training for all our lives. Move over, I need to get us back to our comfort zone pronto.” And then we do those things that we know so well to do to get us back to comfort and safety and normalcy. And this happens at times when we’re outside our comfort zones. And it’s perfectly ok.

And as you can imagine, in a situation like finding out your baby has cancer, that would plunge you outside the CZ in an instant. You zip down to one hospital and then over to another where tests, surgeries and doctors fill your life within 24 hours. How incredibly scary and jarring that must be. And then I think of the doctors in that hospital and how loving, kind, compassionate, and strong they are and how well they know to keep you safe, informed, and nurtured. And eventually, the hospital and tests and treatments “become the new normal” as I heard a doctor say. I envision that this new normal is potentially your survival mechanism now morphing to create comfort out of the chaos and protect us and keep us safe.

And through all of this, I continue to send massive light, love and strength to my wonderful friends. I want to be whatever they need me to be to support them in whatever way they need supported. I’m honored to be a part of their journey in this life.

 

 

 

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Outside the Comfort Zone Podcast: Interview with Sheila Leclerc

Outside the Comfort Zone

Well I finally launched my very first podcast! I’m so thrilled to be sharing this with you. I learned a lot in a very short period of time. More on that below.

Sheila is an amazing life coaching focusing on powerful women. I really enjoyed sitting down with her and getting to know more about Sheila and what her vision is for her coaching business. I got shivers when she told me about the transformation she wants to be apart of for women in this world.

You can find Sheila over at CoachSheila.ca where you can sign up for her newsletter and find out more about her!

I invite you to comment below to let me know if you enjoyed this podcast, and any feedback you can give.


How I made my first podcast:

 

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Comfort Zone

QuoteToday I lived outside of my comfort zone. How do I know I did that? A few ways:

  1. I could feel physical sensations of electricity
  2. I was doing something new that I had never done before
  3. I was nervous/excited
  4. It felt amazing!

Comfort zone is an interesting thing. It’s all warm, lovely, safe, endearing, and hell-it’s COMFORTABLE! AmIright? And it’s also limiting, powerless, and you get to be who you are for the rest of your life. Not sure about you, but I’ve got more growing to do.

What is it like outside the comfort zone: scary, new, powerful, there are opportunities there that we can take, dreams we get to fulfill, possibilities are endless. We get to create what we want to do.

We might not succeed. And so what? If we didn’t succeed all that means is… we didn’t succeed. Let’s try again. If we don’t do it at all, we definitely won’t succeed.

What if we did succeed? What would that create? For you, for me, for the world.

And now it’s time to celebrate that I did what I said I was going to do even though it was outside my comfort zone. And when I post about it, I’m sure that will also be outside my comfort zone. My celebration is that I’m going to turn on some music and do a happy dance right here in my living room. Oh yeah I am!

For now, it’s a surprise what it is that I will be sharing. I wanted to write what is so for me right now. And yes, I want to do a big reveal; ya got me. And by posting that this is coming, I now can’t back out of finishing what I started. So there is an accountability piece there now that I’ve posted this to the outside world.

My coach would say to me “when will you have that completed?” I’m aiming for Sunday night to be able to share it all with you.

I can’t wait. 🙂

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